loving responsibly

Boundless joy, excitement and terribly protective are the emotions that i have always felt whenever i have held either a baby in my arms or a dog...even today i experience the unmistakable surge of love as always...more intense and stronger. I marvel at motherhood...marvel at all those who are blessed as mothers..
Yup, blessed is how i look at them to be... but i wonder how many of them realize what a huge responsibility it is to be a mother...As a special educator, i have often had to see the trauma many children have had to undergo thanks to the negligence or ignorance of the parents.It’s a tremendous job, parenting is. It requires dollops of maturity, emotional balance, intelligence and sensitivity. I meet this young 30 year old neighbour who constantly cribs about the unfairness of nature. Expecting her second child, she conceived simply because it ‘made sense’ to have two kids and then ‘get on with her life’. Definitely Not because she was looking forward to bringing another life into this world…not because it gave her an opportunity to be a mother, a nurturer who had been given yet another chance to love unconditionally –again.. to ‘learn’ how to love unconditionally. ..to open your heart and let all the love pour out freely…..to look into the deep recesses of your heart and discover the softness, the tenderness, the gentleness that all women should be capable of regardless. This becomes a great opportunity to explore that side of womanhood- to know that you are capable of such a powerful emotion- to know such compassion towards one and all… its no wonder they say motherhood completes you…
I don’t really agree.. Women do have that side to them…its just that they go on in life not bothering to look at it.or address it…The ones who do, are generally dismissed as ‘softies’ or emotionally unstable. But to me, they are brave and courageous….to accept love, to receive it and give it without a thought, without judging , truly what being a woman is all about.
Some of us however, have to rely on nature to allow us to experience this…. but then are we ready to don the mantle of responsible parents?
Lets not forget that the way we raise our child, the values we impart is what he will in turn give to society. A few weeks back, I caught a couple of teenage boys stoning stray dogs that are completely harmless as they are fed by our building . This building is inhabited by the upper strata of society where the children as young as three years, are spotted wearing international brands and flaunting it too. When I brought this to the notice of the parents, one laughingly acknowledged that her son was beyond repair and was a pathological liar while the other parent was deeply insulted that someone had dared question the behaviour of her son.
No sooner had I reached home, I got a phone call from a visibly angry, irate father who haughtily informed me that I was responsible for the stray dogs being there as I fed them regularly. He also threatened to call up the authorities to take away the dogs. All this in the presence of his son.
It’s extremely scary that these are the children that are going to do India proud tomorrow.
Counselling sessions need to be held in hospitals where the parents-to- be are guided about their roles. More awareness needs to be spread among newly married couples to understand parenting and what it involves.
The media needs to be more careful with the kind of stories they circulate and the effect it has on children.
Most importantly, we need to take a good look at ourselves- our value systems, our responsibilities, understand and recognize our relationships and for that we must first learn to love for love is what teaches us to communicate the right way…with patience and courage.